The Search

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” That’s how it goes. Day after day after day after day… Everyday waking up with the constant thought that it’s going to be another day of complete surrender covered in smiling politeness. There’s no choice. No one can say “no”, it’s simply not an option. If it were allowed, it’d be used. But as a matter of fact, it isn’t. This life requires societal submission.

So it goes on and on, agreeing all the time with the silenced inner scream of total disagreement. In this world nowadays, no one wants to hear another opinion, another voice of intellectual input. Stubbornness is a real bad character trait, as is too far-reaching individuality. Sure, everyone may choose a certain look of his or her own but only in limited parameters. Drastic theatrical appearances aren’t respected. As are distinctive ways in someone’s pronunciation. A robotic voice isn’t valued either, but nothing too far from the norm, please. The best thing to do is wearing a mask of utter contentment and to only speak if spoken to.

As long as everything follows a carefully selected plan of social and cultural conventions, all is fine. The sun is shining and there are no clouds on the horizon. But sometimes there are those that like to destroy this peace. Those who don’t simply nod and agree. Those with opinions and musings of their own. Those who decide which course their lives should take. Where do they fit in? Apparently, they don’t. Although everyone says individuality brings newness and change and although everyone says that those two should be embraced, they aren’t. The reason why is that newness and change bring an unforeseeable future, difference and difficulties.

So in the end, what remains is saying “yes” and nodding, shutting down every other tiny thought. Still, one rebellious question remains to be asked: Where is me?

26/08/2015