Born to be a soldier

I never used to be a normal child, I was never allowed to be one. I was drilled to become perfect, to function all the time, and I got punished if I was just what I was: a child.

Now, as an adult, I am able to understand what the term "childhood" implies. Something with happiness, love, friends. Words I cannot fully grasp although I heard others talking about them.

My behaviour determined my worthiness and since I was always worth nothing I guess I didn't behave acceptably. I needed to work harder.

But I haven't capitulated yet. I still hope to become the perfect soldier one day. Because this is a contract I can't withdraw from.

15/11/2011